Sans snow

I don't know what it is this year, but Christmas is coming with record breaking speed. I can't believe it's only a week away! I've got some last minute gifts to get, there's still some wrapping to do and cookies to be baked yet. For whatever the reason, I'm feeling so out of it this year. Could it be the lack of snow and warmer temperatures? Could it be that my whole rhythm is off because it seems more like fall than winter outside? The whole spirit of Christmas is eluding me with the weather like this. I need cold, I need snow, I need to be on schedule and I'm not. Jack Frost, Mr. Winter, Mother Nature, whoever is responsible....bring me some snow...please!

Shop til you drop

Tomorrow is one of those days that I wait for all year...the annual all girls, no kids, Christmas shopping trip with my mom & sisters. We are ready, we are armed & we are dangerous! Names, coupons, lists, you name it...we're ready to do some damage! Look out retailers...here we come!

The lost tooth

Last night, J lost his first tooth! I can't believe that my baby has lost a tooth already. Where does the time go? J was quite pleased that the tooth fairy left him a new Ricky Ricotta book and $2.00.

I was most impressed by the fact that the tooth fairy had the common decency to actually leave the tooth for me! She must be a scrapper! Somehow she knew that I would want to add that tooth to J's album. Score one for the tooth fairy!

Transplant

Since Susan has decided to discontinue blogs at her site, I took her advice and decided to transfer my blog over here. Never one to be completely computer literate, I'm slowling getting the hang of this. I can't believe how many entries I had to transfer...I didn't realize that I had blogged so much at the shack!

The dreaded 38

So it's now official, I am 38 years old. I have been dreading this number for months now! I almost wished I could skip over 38 and go right to 39, that's how much I dread it. Within the last year or so, I have found that so many people listed in the obituaries have been 38 years old. I don't know about you, but I think 38 is a bit too young to die. I don't know why 38 has been popping up so frequently lately, but it scares me. Obviously, I'm not the picture of perfect health which just adds to my fear. I have a whole anxiety issue with dying as it is, now I just have to pile this one on top of it. It's going to be a looooong year, that is if I make it through.

So here I am, 38 years old, dreading it, fearing it, hoping it's not my time. How's that for a somber note on Monday morning!

My poor boy

Oh what a day! Tomorrow is J's 5th birthday, but because both kids have soccer games tomorrow, we had J's party today. He was so excited about his birthday and has been counting down the days for weeks now. The party went well, but the day didn't turn out on a such a high note.

Friday night, we went to the circus. I noticed that J started coughing quite frequently at the circus. Literally ever minute or so he'd let out a cough. It was late when we got home and he was just exhausted. He went to bed, refusing to take any cough medicine. I didn't worry though because we have a whole plethora of medicines--including the quick melt strips. I figured after he had fallen asleep, we will wake him and while he's groggy, give him a strip with some water & he'll be covered & none the wiser. (we've done this before ) Anyway, dh & I go into his bedroom to give him the strip and find he is sleeping away, covered in vomit! Can you believe it didn't wake him up?? Can you believe we never heard him vomiting?? So of course we wake him, clean him, strip the bed, etc. (that whole looooong process!) Now obviously, he's awake and refuses to take the strip. Fine. He coughs on & off throughout the night.

This morning, he sleeps until 8 am, which is LATE for him. He's a little quiet, but happy it's his party day and happy to open gifts from dh, O & I. We begin party preparations. He's still not quite himself, but not coughing quite as much as he was the night before. The guests arrive, his "favorite cousin" arrives and they go off and play together. When the food was ready, he ate just a little (very odd), coughing the whole time. When it was cake time, he ate just a little, coughing the whole time. When it was present time, he barely cracked a smile at any of his gifts and mind you, coughed the whole time. It had finally gotten to the point where everyone was looking at us as the neglectful parents (not really, but you get the idea)

We decide to leave everyone at our house (it was all family) and take J to Urgent Care. He's still coughing and now in the car, I'm beginning to hear a wheeze after each cough. The nurse checks him out, ask lots of questions, and then does his oxygen intake. The norm for his age is 96-97 and his intake was only 93-94. He has no fever. The doctor comes in, more talk & questions, and it's decided he has asthma. She tells us that they don't diagnose asthma right off the bat, they call it "restricted airways" until more tests are done, but pretty much, it's asthma. She gave him a treatment with a nebulizer, which helped quite a bit, at least the coughing ceased for awhile, then she made a mistake. She gave him liquid Prednisone, which he proceeded to vomit all over! She then switched to Prednisone in tablet form and oddly enough, he swallowed all five pills. She follows up with another nebulizer treatment and he was really doing well....a little nutty perhaps, but feeling much better. The nurse puts in a call to a supply company who will meet us at home and provide us with a nebulizer. She gave us 3 prescriptions to fill and we were on our way.

He's been much better since we got home, hardly coughed at all (although I am hearing him cough a bit now as I type this). We have to follow up with his pediatrician, but I feel so bad for him. I hope he doesn't have to take the Prednisone for an extended period of time (Prednisone is nasty stuff) or do the nebulizer treatments 3 times a day for years and years.

My poor boy...all of this on the day of his birthday party.

When I grow up...

After watching Dancing with the Stars for the past several weeks, I have finally decided what I want to be when I grow up! I'm going to be a ballroom dancer. That's it, I've made my decision, look out world!

Truthfully though, I have always loved dancing of all sorts and every once in a while I would catch a ballroom dancing competition on TV really late on a Saturday night. I was always mesmerized by it and taken aback by the strength & endurance of the dancers...not to mention their elegance.

Now if I could only grow waaaaaaaay taller and be waaaaaaaaaaaay thinner, I'm all set!

Proud day

I have had a day that has filled me with so much pride. I will now brag....

First, J had his first ever soccer game this afternoon. I was so proud of him, he scored a goal! I was amazed with his endurance, he just kept running up & down the field with not a single complaint of being tired (kids in the age group often complain, cry, etc.)

Second, O also played her first soccer game of the season. I had to miss her game because hers & J's game were at the same time. Dh is now coaching O, so he took her, while I took J. Anyway, O's team won, which is great but that's not the best part. Earlier this evening, we had to attend her softball banquet. (she played softball this past spring) Of course she got the standard trophy for playing....but then...she got the Cavanaugh Award, a trophy awarded for the player with distinction! We were so proud of her & her excitement was beyond compare.

What a proud day at the M home!

Ch ch ch changes

So I'm all set to begin working on Monday! I decided to stay at Ps. My new schedule will be Mondays from 4-8 (awesome because I'll have the daytime to myself while the kids are in school), and the rest of the week from 9-2. (well actually I'll be off on Tuesdays until 11-1-06). I'll be able to bring & pick up the kids from school everyday with this schedule. I also agreed to work one Sunday a month. How could I not? They are giving me everything. I've even managed within about 99% certainty to get summers off! P is so flexible too...if I have to chaperone a field trip or attend a school function, I can go. I'm pretty confident that I've made the right decision, at least while my children are so young. I'm going to send in my teacher's assistant paperwork anyway so that I can get my certification. This way if I ever wanted to make the switch, I can.

I'm hoping I can handle the extra hours. I know I'm going to have to be super organized to get the 3 of us out of the house every morning. There's no way I'll leave the house messy or with beds unmade, so I guess I'll need to make sure everything is in place before I go to bed at night. Change...I hope I'm up to the challenge!

Socks & Underpants

I love back to school time. Olivia will be going into 3rd grade, Johnny into kindergarten. There is something about this time of year that just feels so renewing to me, almost like New Year's Day. I want to clean, get rid of the old, start fresh.

The kids have all of their new clothes, sneakers, shoes and school supplies ready to go and I remembered with great fondness how wonderful it felt (as a kid) to have all those new items. As a kid, I loved new tall pencils sharpened to a perfect point with unused eraser tops. The feeling of a brand new crayon in my hand was nothing short of pure bliss. I won't even get started about new pristine notebooks! I always swore I was going to use my best handwriting in those new notebooks and never get messy. Now don't think for even a minute that I wasn't just as excited over new clothes...that feeling is indescribable! To this day, I love the feeling of new socks on my feet and new underpants on my...bottom.

So I asked myself yesterday, "why should I miss out of the fun of this refreshing new school year?" and "Who says you have to be in school in order to get back to school clothes?" So with that, I'm going to do a little back to school shopping for myself! Bet you'll never guess what my first purchases will be? Socks & underpants of course!

Where'd you go?

Sing along:
(song lyrics by Fort Minor)

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

Of course I'm speaking about my MOJO!! This song is perfect for my missing mojo. Oh the torture of it all! I've had so much time to scrap today and I hate EVERYTHING that I've done. Maybe it's because the pictures I've been working with lately haven't been exactly perfect? I don't know, but it better come back...asap, because I can't take this much longer!

So, play it again Sam:

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

Uncertainty (reader warning: may be boring)

I have been going crazy lately. I've been hoping to get a job with the school district as a Teacher's Assistant. The last postings I applied for (on Friday) are opened until the close of business September 8th. Being that September 8th is a Friday, I won't hear anything until the following week! Meanwhile, I'm in a state of confusion and uncertainty and it's killing me.

So....I had a huge discussion last night with dh and my mom & sisters. My problem is that I can stay at the job where I'm currently working part-time, with more hours. The beauty of this is that it's a locally owned store, it's very personal, and I know that the owner, P, will do anything for me. If I stay there, I will have flexibilty to do things...like attend school parties and chaperone field trips....things that mean a lot to me. If I get a job with the school district, chances are there will be no flexibilty to do these things. I know that P will let me leave if one of the kids gets sick, or leave early for school half days. Of course, the drawback to staying at P's is that I won't have all the time off as a teacher's assistant would. He did tell me that he would be willing to give me the summer's off, so long as he has it covered, but there's no guarantee. And then there are all the breaks...Christmas, mid-winter, spring. Those would be a problem, although I know my mom could watch the kids if need be.

After the big discussion last night, I think we alll seem to be thinking that P's is the way to go. The flexibility is key especially right now while the kids are still so young. I keep telling myself I'd have to be a fool to leave a place where everyone is so good to me and that I can basically do what I want. Then there's the part of me that thinks I'd have to be a fool to stay in a retail job when I can get out and only work 180 days a year as a Teacher's Assistant. I'm going to talk with P tonight and see if he's willing to give me the hours I'm looking for. I'm just so afraid of making the wrong decision.

Make it work!

I cannot wait for Project Runway to be on tonight! I know it's kinda silly to be so excited about a TV show but with so many of my other programs on hiatus for the summer, it's nice to have something to watch. This show just amazes me. I cannot believe some of the talent. The challenges are so....well...."out there" sometimes and I am always shocked and amazed to see the creativity that the designers possess. Last week they made outfits out of recycled garbage! For the life of me, I couldn't figure out how they were going to pull it off. Oddly enough, I actually thought a few of the outfits looked pretty, I even thought I'd wear them myself, garbage and all! And Tim Gunn!! Oh I love him! He is pure genius! I'm looking forward to what they'll be designing tonight...could be absolutely anything! I can't wait to see who will be catty & bickering...Laura, Jeffrey, Vincent, Kayne, Robert, or Angela? Hmmm...can't wait to find out!

What a world

(very random)

This whole terrorist thing has shaken me. Makes me down right sick in fact. I just can't believe the world that we live in. My niece is here and I can hear my kids & her laughing & playing together as I type this. I cannot imagine the shape the world will be in as they get older. I don't want them to have to live in such violent times. Breaks my heart. I want nothing but world peace for them. I never liked to fly. We were thinking of going to DisneyWorld in the spring and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could suck it up for the 3 hours and fly to Orlando, for the sake of my kids. Now, I know that I can't do it, I just can't. It's a shame to have to live in such fear. I feel so bad for everyone who is away from home right now and has to fly back home in the coming days. Can you imagine the fear in their minds? I would think that even the most optimistic person would be rattled by this.

What a world. What a crazy, messed up world.

Curtain rods

When did curtain rods become a toy?? Ds has been occupying himself, playing with curtain rods, for the past 40 minutes. (I know what you're probably all thinking....she's letting him play with curtain rods? He's going to poke his eyes out!) I've tried taking them away, several times actually, but I've given up! He goes in the attic & takes them out and then they become part of his arsenal to battle evil enemies. Just why do I buy toys anyway? He doesn't even play with his toys for this long.

NOTE TO SANTA: No need to spend lots of money on toys, apparently, curtain rods are as good as any toy for a boy with an imagination!

The beach

Dh & I took the kids to the beach today. We're not exactly your beach-lovin', sun-worshippin' kind of people, but we had lots of fun anyway.
As I stood in the water, glancing around at the sights, I realized something...all are created equal at the beach. No matter how terrible you feel about yourself, no matter how bad you look or think you look, no matter how fat, no matter how short, whether you have big hips, a fat belly, saddle bags, love handles, pasty white skin, you name it...no one seems to care! As a matter of fact, I find that there are always at least 10 people who look waaaaaaaaay worse than you! How is this possible??? You can be 50 pounds overweight, with a swimsuit 3 sizes too small and no one really stares, it's just par for the course. I guess true beach goers have seen it all...nothing shocks them. I started out feeling self-concious at the beach, but by the end of the day, all fear had been shed. I felt liberated, even invigorated! Now if only the rest of the world could see through the same eyes...

Button Love

Last night I had an epiphany. I decided that I love buttons and I'm going to start using them more often!! Why have I overlooked the button for so long? I did believe that the button had fallen out of popularity, I'm always getting caught in that trap (not popular=I can't use it). Whenever I see a LO in an idea book or gallery that has used buttons, years ago or even still today, I'm attracted to it. What is my fascination with the button? I guess the roundness, the huge array of colors and sometimes even patterns, the simplicity, although they can be quite fancy sometimes...all in all, the button is a nice accent in a non-obtrusive way. Today, I will officially begin scouring all avenues for buying attractive buttons...that's my mission. The button shall no longer take a back seat to other embellishements! All hail to the button!!

Disbelief

Here I am at 8:59 in the morning, childless, and ready to spend the day scrapping!!!! I can't remember the last time this happened. The house is clean and the laundry is washing. Dh is working, dd & ds spent last night at my brother's house and they'll be there all day playing with my niece. I have this day all to myself and I can not believe it!!!! (The pessimist in me keeps thinking something will go wrong...maybe I'll lose my mojo??? ) So I am off, to enjoy the day, crank the tunes, scrap away........that is until I have to go to work at 4:00!

Rain, rain, go away

When is this rain going to end?? I feel like it's been raining for months! The gray & gloominess is beginning to get on my nerves too. I need sunshine (minus the humidity, of course). How did all those people out West survive El Nino? I can't imagine it. I've come to the conclusion if I didn't complain about the weather, I'd have nothing to complain about!!

On the market, job market that is!

Since my days of being a SAHM are numbered, I will be entering the work force after 8 1/2 years this fall (hopefully)! I'm going to be a Teacher's Assistant...I took the required classes, took the state test, and have the necessary college credits. I have to apply for certification from the state and then I'm all set...I just need a job!!!The city school district called yesterday, they have vacancies in some of the schools, unfortunately, not in my children's school. Anyway, I went to the district office this morning, and the secretary sent my application to two of the schools. The problem is that if someone already within in district wants one of the posted positions, they get first dibs. Also, I won't know anything until the last 2 weeks of August because the principals at each school review the applications and they are off for summer vacation and won't return until then. Oh the waiting is going to kill me!! At least the secretary told me to keep checking back over the summer because more vacancies may become available. I hate not knowing what's ahead...oh it's going to be a loooooooooong summer!

I can't breath!

Where does all this stuff come from?? I swear, my house is full of stuff and I swear it reproduces or something. I just had a huge cleaning out a few months ago and I feel like I need another one. The kids have TOO much, just TOO much. I know I should be thankful that they have so much, but really, it's getting suffocating! Little toys, big toys, and the worst...kid's meal toys!! (those definitely reproduce, no question about it...who is eating all this fast food anyway?) I feel so overwhelmed, I don't know where to begin the cleaning & purging process. What one child wants to get rid of, the other refuses to part with! It's a vicious cycle I tell ya! I've always considered myself clean & organized almost to the point of OCD, but the kids are certainly testing me lately. Tomorrow. I need to start tomorrow before I go insane.

That's it! I'm taking a stand!

I've had enough! What I'm going to say may shock, even cause panic in those weak of heart, but I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer going to journal on those mundane holiday LOs of which I have nothing more to report on than mere details. There! I've said it!

I will not be pressured to report, "Easter was a wonderful day...blah, blah, blah...we had a delicious dinner of...blah, blah, blah... any more!!" If there is nothing exciting or memorable to report about such & such a holiday, I'm no longer going to report it. Simple as that! Now don't get me wrong, I have always thought that journaling was my strong suit. I've always been a writer at heart but useless antedotes are not my style and I refuse to keep torturing myself and my audience with boring accounts of holiday celebrations. I am above that!

So Scrappers of America, raise your right hands and repeat: "We will no longer be forced to follow the rules of good scrapbooking conduct when we feel that said rules are sucking the life force, fun, and enjoyment out of the hobby."

There ya go...don't you feel liberated now? Thank you, thank you....no need for applause.

Bring Steve back! Bring Steve back!

So, I had a garage sale over the weekend and while I was cleaning out, I came across some videos that my kiddos no longer watch. Among them were the Wiggles, Bear in the Big Blue House and Blue's Clues. I decided I might be better off putting these items up for sale on ebay instead of throwing them into the sale. With that, I listed the Bear videos, I listed the Wiggles videos, but for some reason, I hesitated on the Blue's Clues videos. I thought I'd wait until the kids came home from school to make sure they didn't want any of these before I put them on ebay.

Good thing I did, because they (particularly Johnny) acted like they had never seen any of them before!! Being that the weather has been cool and rainy, they've been watching videos quite a bit and Blue has gotten some serious air time. Tonight, they enlisted me to watch with them and I thought to myself "ugh, Blue's Clues!" However, being the good mommy , I settled in to watch. You know, I was pleasantly surprised! Since these videos are older, they feature Steve, instead of Joe. Ahhh Steve! Good old Steve, how I loved him! I remember so well the announcement a few years ago of Steve leaving the show and how I thought Olivia would be lost without Steve. Instead it was me...I was attached to Steve...I was lost without him...I cried on that final episode when he "went away to college." I also remember dh teasing me about the tears in my eyes during that episode! Having Joe take Steve's place has never cut it for me, to tell the truth, my kids really didn't watch the show much after Joe arrived. I thought it was because they had outgrown Blue, but now, I'm willing to bet, it was just because they disliked Joe as much as I did.

So with that, I chant....Bring Steve back!! Bring Steve back!!! There's practically a whole generation of kids out there who are missing out on the pleaure of Steve hosting Blue's Clues and what a shame that is! To me, Blue's Clues just isn't Blue's Clues without Steve...Rock on, Steve Burns, rock on!

...and it's only May!

Hot. HOT. HOT!!!! I am, right now, complaining of the heat and it's still May! I was tellling dh today that I seriously think I have a medical (or maybe it's mental! ) condition in that I cannot tolerate the heat! I'm glad the sun is shining, but why does it have to be 90 degrees and so darn humid? Sticky, sticky, makes me feel so icky! Who'dathunk that I could rhyme under such unpleasant conditions? What would I do if I had to live someplace like Florida? I'd have to become a recluse and never leave the house! Being hot is not one bit enjoyable for me and it's only May!

Brag and brag...blah, blah, blah!

In this day and age, I know the world is no longer how it used to be. I know that parents can be intolerable at their child's academic and sporting events...I know this. Sad as it may seem, I've experienced it at soccer games for dd, who by the way, is only in 2nd grade. It's going to happen, no matter how repulsive it may be, it just goes with the territory.

That being said, I am not, and I repeat...am not ready for this nonsense where ds is concerned. He's 4 years old, a preschooler, entering kindergarten in the fall. Is it really necessary for this bragging and what-not to go on for the preschool sect? I don't want to hear how brilliant your child is, I don't want to hear how he has soooo many friends or how he knows all the kindergarten requirements already. That's all well and great but please keep that information to yourself. I say this, not because my child achieves any less, not because I feel I'm a bad mother...none of that! I just don't need to hear every detail of how wonderful your child is! I fully understand being proud of your child, but why do you feel that everyone needs to know this, especially when it comes out as full out and out bragging and not an integral part of the conversation. Again, I do not have sour grapes...at the risk of sounding like one of "those" parents, there is quite alot to brag about with dd already, details of which I have not shared with anyone outside of my family. What's the point? Why would I need to tell everyone....to make myself look good?? I just don't get it.

I apologize if I've offended anyone reading this. It's just how I feel. I have zero tolerance for this and I'm in for a good 14 more years of it!! How will I ever survive??

Which way to go?

I'm having one of those days where I don't know which way to go...or shall I say, which way my life is going.

Ds starts kindergarten in the fall, so I know my SAHM days are numbered. I could stay at the store where I work now with more hours, but I decided I would instead be a Teacher's Assistant. I have taken the courses required, I have to take the state test in June and then I have to hope to find a job, preferably in my childrens' school. There is something about the place I work now though. It is independently owned, the owner is as good as gold and I can't help but wonder if I'm making a mistake by leaving there.

Why is it that at 37 years old, I don't know any more of what I want to do with my life than I did when I was 17 years old? How can that be? I have sooooo much regret. I'm actually an intelligent being (not intended to be boastful) and I could have been soooo many things. I didn't go away to college, I attended college locally, which I find, was the BIGGEST mistake I could have ever made. How come I feel as though I never had a calling in life? How I wish there was a "magic someone" who could point me in the right direction and lead me down the right path.

I can't help but wonder, will I ever figure this out?

So uncomfortable

I had to go to the GYN today...yearly checkup time. As I was sitting on the table in my pretty gown waiting forever for my doctor to surface, I got to thinking...are there any women out there who are comfortable and more importantly, relaxed, during this exam??? I can't imagine it. You know what's coming and for those 5 minutes or so of the exam, you feel completely violated. Don't get me wrong, I love my doctor and am quite comfortable with him, but the whole process is just so....uncomfortable. I almost asked my doctor if he ever comes across any women who he feels are completely relaxed, but then I thought, he might think I'm nuts for asking, so I didn't.

Oh well, such is the life of a woman, I guess.

Harrassment by alphabet embellishments

I am constantly being harrassed by my alphabet embellishments! No wonder I always struggle with titles! No matter how many alphas I have, I never have the right color, the right size, or the right look. And don't even get me started about the correct letters!!! It never fails, I am always out of a letter that I need. Today it was a "C"! Can you imagine? A stinkin' "C"? What are all the words that I've been spelling lately with "C"? This is all crazy, crazy, I tell ya!!

Now I know how an addict feels....

Silly as it may seem, I really feel as though I know how an addict feels when they are going through rehab. Ok, I'm not experiencing tremors or sweating or anything like that, but I am in serious withdrawal without my computer!!!! It really is amazing to me how I have come to rely on something so much...especially when I didn't even own such an item until 8 years ago! You'd think I'd owned a computer my whole life! Just to roll with the whole addict thing....I have broken into my sister's house, right now, while everyone is working, just so I could use her computer!! (Well, actually, I called her at work before breaking and entering , what can I say? I'm a considerate felon! )

My mind is constantly filled with things that I wish I could and that I need to do:
...All the stuff I'm missing out on at the shack...the shack friends that I wish I was interacting with...the things I wish I could be selling on ebay right now...the information that I want to look up...the vacation I wish we could book right now...the pictures I wish I could download from my digital camera...the journaling that I wish I could type & print for my scrapbook layouts...the scrapbook shopping I wish I could do....the DT LOs that I wish I could scan before the end of the month...all of this is seriously stressing me out! I'm about ready to kidnap my nephew, tie him to a chair & make him fix my computer already!!

Soooo, if you don't hear from me again soon, start looking for my face on America's Most Wanted!!!

The sacrifice

I've always heard people talk of the sacrifice that a policeman's family has to make, but I never really thought anything of it, not in too much detail anyway. Oh sure, I've been annoyed when John couldn't get a day off because there was a huge city-related event or when he has gotten called in at 3 am to investigate a fatal accident or come home 2 hours late because of a call...and let's not even get into the worry, panic and fear that goes along with having to have a loved one who goes to work each day with a gun strapped around his waist. After 16 years of this, you learn to live with it...what choice do you have really.

I bring all of this up because dh has to work on Easter Sunday. Of course, this is not the first holiday he's had to work, it happens all the time, and I know, all to well, it won't be the last holiday he has to work. The trouble is that now dd is getting of an age where she's beginning to be annoyed with it. I guess she's beginning to see the sacrifice. This morning, she gave me an earful:
Why does he have to work on Easter?
Why can't he get another job?
Now he's going to miss everything!
It's no fun without him!
Why can't he get the day off?
I suggested that maybe Easter Bunny will show up on Saturday instead. (He has done this in the past )
I don't want him to come on Saturday, that's not Easter!
Ds chimed in with his 4 year old comment:
Who's going to videotape us on the egg hunt now?

I tried so hard to answer her questions reasonably, but really, how could I expect her to fully comprehend all of this? I live with the sacrifice every day, and maybe I was blind to it all, but I never thought my children would have to live with it also. My heart breaks for my children and truthfully, it breaks for my dh as well. Such is the life of a police officer's family.

The oversmile

The planets aligned just perfectly yesterday and we actually had a family portrait taken...wonders never cease! This was our first family portrait ever.

(Some background: My mom's cousin, who was born in Italy, is going back there in May for her 75th birthday. The relatives in the "old country" wanted to see pictures of my grandfather's family and since I didn't really have any acceptable ones to give to my mom's cousin, I figured now was as good a time as any to have a portrait taken, even though I don't look the way I wish. )

The pictures came out quite nicely except for the dreaded "oversmile." Why do I always have to "oversmile'? Can't I just smile naturally like a normal person? Dh told me I was crazy, he didn't see the "oversmile", but nonetheless I see it, I know it's there. I should be sent to a school to practice smiling in an understated manner. Darn that oversmile!!!

Please do not say "Tuesday"

Why is it that some days are just so bogged down with activity you can hardly think or see straight???Such is the case on Tuesday...too much to do on Tuesday!

I'm taking a class on Tuesday evening....
My dh has a meeting on Tuesday evening....
Dd won a poetry contest at the local library, the awards reception is Tuesday evening....
Dd's softball coach called. The 1st practice is...Tuesday evening!

UGH!! Give me a break already!! Can this really be possible??? I have no idea how the heck we're going to work this one out and I've got a HUGE headache just thinking about it. Why, why, why does this happen???

Morning silence

I'm sitting here all by myself, at 7:30 in the morning, hanging out at the shack, enjoying the silence. Dd and ds had a sleepover at Grandma's last night, dh went to work, and here I am. You would think I'd be sleeping in, but instead my first thought was visiting the shack.

There is something about quiet, relaxing mornings like this. I'm not really sure what it is though... maybe it sets the tone for the whole day? I do know that it has been quite some time since I had a quiet morning at home. Dh & I were married for 6 years before starting a family, you would think I would have had enough quiet mornings at home to last a lifetime. However, that is not the case. I'm enjoying this.

Well, I think I am enjoying this. As a matter of fact, as I sit here thinking of what to type next, I'm beginning to think that I'm not enjoying this at all and that the whole "quiet morning silence" thing is overrated. Hearing the clock tick through the silence is not comforting to me right now. I know in my heart that the sound of my children talking, laughing and yelling is comforting to me. Hmmm....I think I'll give Mom a call to see when she'll be bringing them home.

Over the top

Sometimes I guess I don't realize how over the top or engrossed I am in this thing we call scrapbooking.Yesterday, I printed Jen Coen's spotlight challenge so that I could give it a try some time this week. It was sitting on my desk, when dd saw it. She was very interested in it and asked me why the boy in the picture was crying. I said, because his sand castle fell down. She wanted to know how I knew that. I told her because his mom said so. She then wanted to know who his mom was. So I said, a girl named Jen. To which she replied, "Jen Coen??" WOW!!! I was taken aback!!! I didn't know whether to laugh or not. How could she know this??? (well actually, I know how she knows this...both of my kids love looking at the rolodex cards!) But to think that she remembered and connected the name just completely amazed me!!! What have I done to my children??? I've gone over the top!!!

Thankful

Today is one of those days were I am just so happy with my life...high on life I guess you would say. Ever have one of those days? I just feel thankful for so much in my life. I tend to think negatively more times than I would care to admit, so just indulge me in my state of euphoria.

~It's a beautiful, warm & sunny 82 degree day and I am thankful to see that sun shining.
~My dd Olivia was born 8 years ago today. I am taken back to the morning of her birth and I am thankful.
~My family will be here tonight. We have a Friday night tradition, we all get together & order take out. It's fun and crazy and I am thankful for traditions and for my family.
~We may not have as much money as I wish, but we paid the bills last night and we aren't completely broke and for that, I am thankful.
~My house is completely clean and I am thankful.
~I've been sticking with my diet for the past 3 days. I'm so happy and thankful.
~I couldn't ask for a better dh. I am so thankful.
~Ds is wearing shorts, I can see his cute, chubby little legs and I am so thankful to have him, his smile and those cute chubby legs.
~Today life is good and for that, I am thankful.

The spring jacket conspiracy

We have been having a string of beautifully sunny spring days here in NY! I'm really loving this weather. At night, it gets chilly but I hate to wear my winter jacket, because, you know, enough is enough, the calendar says spring and I don't want to wear a black, heavy, wool jacket any longer. Nuff said. Soooo, I am in pursuit of a pretty colored spring jacket. Can I find one??? Noooooo! I'm telling you, it's a conspiracy! What happened to all the spring jackets? Was I supposed to have bought one already, like after Christmas when it was still 10 degrees and snowing? For heaven's sake, the snow just melted a week or so ago! Where are they hiding the jackets? Have the jackets been replaced with all the swim suits that we won't be able to wear until July? Something has got to give...I want a spring jacket! Phew, glad I got that off my chest!

Cooking up something

I got two new cookbooks in the mail and I am so thrilled!! (Entertaining with the Sopranos and Paula Deen's The Lady & Sons.) I have such an affection for cookbooks. I'm telling you, I read them as if they were a novel. Dh likes to tease me and say it would be nice if I actually made something from all these cookbooks that I own. I make stuff from them all the time...he's just clueless! So I am off, to get lost in my culinary wonders!! Well at least until the kids get home from school anyway!!

The photographer is in

Very shortly, my sister & her family will be here so that I can take some family photos of them. How did this happen??? My photographic skills are far from professional, yet my sister asked me to do this. Such pressure...I hope I can at least get one good shot! I also can't decide whether to use my regular SLR camera or my digital or both. Although, I was thinking that since 99% of my pictures are individuals age 7 and younger, maybe things will go much smoother photographing 4 adults. Wish me luck!!


******let me edit this: I did get 2 decent pictures. I didn't get to take as many pics as I would have liked though. My nephew is at that age where having to do anything family related is torture, so he pretty much had one foot out the door before he even took 1 picture!! Ugh!

The neverending list....

I have soooooo many things to do in the weeks & months ahead. Really, it's making me crazy when I think about it. I've had to write everything down, trying to free it from my head, and make me a little less crazy. Usually that trick works for me, but not this time. Everything is still swirling around in my head...dd's birthday, my sister's 50th birthday, dd taking First Holy Communion, lots of parties, lots of planning, lots of shopping, lots of things to do period. Why can't I just take things one day at a time? Why do I insist on making myself crazy? Why, why, why?

Idea book junkie

I haven't bought an idea book in a while and I have to say that I forgot how fond I am of them. Today, I bought the BHG Design Secrets book and can I just say, it is awesome!! That book is just brimming with inspiration...so many of my favorite celebrity designers too. I couldn't help buying it, I swear that book was calling my name from across the store...honest!

A new sense of self

I had to go see my doctor this morning. Thank goodness my sugar levels are within normal range!! I didn't know what I was going to do if she told me I have diabetes. Strangely enough, I left the office feeling as though my health needs to become a higher priority for me. I always say I'm going to eat healthier, exercise and lose weight, but for whatever the reason, I never stick with it. This morning though, I feel differently. I feel as though I have thrown the gauntlet down...I'm ready. I need to do this for me. I may need to read this post over and over again in the coming days, weeks & months, but I do feel it's for real.

On a lighter note, Johnny had his first t-ball game yesterday. I wish I had brought the camcorder, I brought my digital camera (big mistake) and it did not like the lighting in there at all! Anyway, it was possibly the funniest thing I had seen in quite some time. Ok, I'll say it here, God forgive me, but I really thought Johnny would be a "lazy" kid. I don't really know why I felt this way, he's always running around and is quite active, but somehow I still thought he'd be lazy. I was soooooo wrong!! He was the master fielder at 4 years old! No matter where that ball was hit, he ran as fast as his legs could take him to catch it! Now the funny part was that he ran after the ball whether his team was fielding or batting! At one point, he was on 2nd base, the ball was hit toward 2nd base and he catches the ball, and then proceeds to run to 3rd base and then home holding the ball!! Everyone was cracking up, it was so funny!! He even ran to catch the ball when he, himself, hit it!! Ohhh, what a riot!! I wonder how long it'll be before he'll actually catch on to the basics of the game. Right now though, he is just too cute!

My name is now Beulah

For today, I am calling myself Beulah, Bertha, Beatrice, anything really, but...........

MMMMMMMoooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

It has been one of those mornings where that's all I've heard is:

MMMMMMMoooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Ha! As I just typed that , take a guess what I heard?

MMMMMMMoooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

When I didn't answer right away it was followed by Mommy, Mommy, Mommy...getting louder and increasing in intesity!
Can I run away now? I wonder how long I can hide out on this 'puter before they find me? Calgon take me (Beulah) away................

Ode to a Trimmer

Ode to a Trimmer
My Tonic guillotine trimmer is the best,
All the rest are no contest,
It cuts straight time after time
and I'm go glad it's mine all mine.

Well I never said I was a poet!!! Anyhoo, I am so loving this trimmer. I have had many over the years...Fiskars, Carl rotary & the Cutterpede, but this one, oh this one, is by far the best!!. I've been using it a little over a week now and I am amazed with its perfection, its precision, its excellence! (Have I made it clear that I love this thing?)

Like a dream

I have to tell ya, today I feel like I'm living a dream. It is snowing like crazy outside, the kids have a snow day and the best yet, dh is off from work. It has been such a fun, cozy, enjoyable day. No place to be, nothing to do, just relaxing with the ones I love! It doesn't get any better than this!

How do you spell relief?

It's not by spelling R-O-L-A-I-D-S, that's for sure!! It's by finally finishing those Christmas LOs!! Let's make this official....I hereby declare this 14th day of March, two thousand and six, the day that I finished my Christmas LOs from 2005!!I'm seriously suffering from red/green fever and I find it all quite odd that when I finished that last page, I looked out the window and the snow was starting to fly. I'm sure that means something, just not sure what! I feel like I'm going to run out into the street and sing and dance amongst the falling snow!! If you really think about it though, it is quite sad. Scrapping is supposed to be fun but when it comes to Christmas LOs all the fun gets sucked out of it and it becomes a chore for me. Not good at all. I definitely need to relax & lighten up. Oh well, I'm not going to worry about that until January 2007!

Out with the old...

You know, I was thinking, this scrapping thing sure is...for lack of a better word...fickle. I was searching for some embellishments the other day and what do I happen to chance upon?? My binder of diecuts. Let me clarify...my very dusty, unused, binder of diecuts. As I paged through, I found pocket after pocket and page after page of what I thought were the cutest diecuts ever. I can remember back in the onset days of a very popular vegetable site, when we were all practically drooling & tripping over ourselves to get every one of these cute little diecuts into our hot and heavy hands. And now what? Here they sit, collecting dust. Do I actually dare use one of these? If I did, would I be shunned by the great society of scrappers? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Oh what a beautiful morning....

It is shaping up to be a wonderful day here in NY!! The sun is shining, the temps are going to be in the high 50's, I'm in such a mood to clean and guess what???? I have to work!! Yeah, that's right, work!!! So much for enjoying this wonderful day! I work a Saturday once every few months...doesn't it figure my day would fall on a day like today! I know what you're all thinking...go ahead, send out the violins! I'm still mad!

Full House

What is it with the sitcom Full House? I never watched an entire episode of that show in my life, but yet dd & ds have discovered it in reruns on Nick & every night they have to watch it. They love it. That darn Joey (Dave Coulier) bugs the heck out of me! Someone please tell me why this show was so big that it's in reruns?? It's not like it's Happy Days or Laverne & Shirley for heaven's sake! Ok, seriously dating myself here.

Glucose test...yuck-o

Why does it sometimes seem as though my doctor will not be happy unless she finds something wrong with me? She sent me for a glucose test to check for diabetes. I have been putting this off & putting it off. Today I decided to go to the lab. They drew blood and then made me drink that horribly sweet orange drink. I had to hang around for an hour so they could draw blood again, then another hour so they could draw more blood. I haven't felt well ever since that drink! Ugh! AND....to top it all off, she ordered 2 tests and they can't do them on the same day, so I have to go back tomorrow! At least with tomorrow's test, they draw, then I can leave and return 2 hours later for more drawing. I swear if I never had to see a doctor or have a test again in my life, I'd be fine!!!

Just starting out...

I'm just starting this blog process, as usual I'm always late to the picnic! Since I forever have so many thoughts--or shall I say ramblings-- going on in my head, I may as well blog away and see if I can't free up some space in that mind of mine. Bear with me though, it may take me some time to get the hang of this.