Now I know how an addict feels....

Silly as it may seem, I really feel as though I know how an addict feels when they are going through rehab. Ok, I'm not experiencing tremors or sweating or anything like that, but I am in serious withdrawal without my computer!!!! It really is amazing to me how I have come to rely on something so much...especially when I didn't even own such an item until 8 years ago! You'd think I'd owned a computer my whole life! Just to roll with the whole addict thing....I have broken into my sister's house, right now, while everyone is working, just so I could use her computer!! (Well, actually, I called her at work before breaking and entering , what can I say? I'm a considerate felon! )

My mind is constantly filled with things that I wish I could and that I need to do:
...All the stuff I'm missing out on at the shack...the shack friends that I wish I was interacting with...the things I wish I could be selling on ebay right now...the information that I want to look up...the vacation I wish we could book right now...the pictures I wish I could download from my digital camera...the journaling that I wish I could type & print for my scrapbook layouts...the scrapbook shopping I wish I could do....the DT LOs that I wish I could scan before the end of the month...all of this is seriously stressing me out! I'm about ready to kidnap my nephew, tie him to a chair & make him fix my computer already!!

Soooo, if you don't hear from me again soon, start looking for my face on America's Most Wanted!!!

The sacrifice

I've always heard people talk of the sacrifice that a policeman's family has to make, but I never really thought anything of it, not in too much detail anyway. Oh sure, I've been annoyed when John couldn't get a day off because there was a huge city-related event or when he has gotten called in at 3 am to investigate a fatal accident or come home 2 hours late because of a call...and let's not even get into the worry, panic and fear that goes along with having to have a loved one who goes to work each day with a gun strapped around his waist. After 16 years of this, you learn to live with it...what choice do you have really.

I bring all of this up because dh has to work on Easter Sunday. Of course, this is not the first holiday he's had to work, it happens all the time, and I know, all to well, it won't be the last holiday he has to work. The trouble is that now dd is getting of an age where she's beginning to be annoyed with it. I guess she's beginning to see the sacrifice. This morning, she gave me an earful:
Why does he have to work on Easter?
Why can't he get another job?
Now he's going to miss everything!
It's no fun without him!
Why can't he get the day off?
I suggested that maybe Easter Bunny will show up on Saturday instead. (He has done this in the past )
I don't want him to come on Saturday, that's not Easter!
Ds chimed in with his 4 year old comment:
Who's going to videotape us on the egg hunt now?

I tried so hard to answer her questions reasonably, but really, how could I expect her to fully comprehend all of this? I live with the sacrifice every day, and maybe I was blind to it all, but I never thought my children would have to live with it also. My heart breaks for my children and truthfully, it breaks for my dh as well. Such is the life of a police officer's family.

The oversmile

The planets aligned just perfectly yesterday and we actually had a family portrait taken...wonders never cease! This was our first family portrait ever.

(Some background: My mom's cousin, who was born in Italy, is going back there in May for her 75th birthday. The relatives in the "old country" wanted to see pictures of my grandfather's family and since I didn't really have any acceptable ones to give to my mom's cousin, I figured now was as good a time as any to have a portrait taken, even though I don't look the way I wish. )

The pictures came out quite nicely except for the dreaded "oversmile." Why do I always have to "oversmile'? Can't I just smile naturally like a normal person? Dh told me I was crazy, he didn't see the "oversmile", but nonetheless I see it, I know it's there. I should be sent to a school to practice smiling in an understated manner. Darn that oversmile!!!

Please do not say "Tuesday"

Why is it that some days are just so bogged down with activity you can hardly think or see straight???Such is the case on Tuesday...too much to do on Tuesday!

I'm taking a class on Tuesday evening....
My dh has a meeting on Tuesday evening....
Dd won a poetry contest at the local library, the awards reception is Tuesday evening....
Dd's softball coach called. The 1st practice is...Tuesday evening!

UGH!! Give me a break already!! Can this really be possible??? I have no idea how the heck we're going to work this one out and I've got a HUGE headache just thinking about it. Why, why, why does this happen???

Morning silence

I'm sitting here all by myself, at 7:30 in the morning, hanging out at the shack, enjoying the silence. Dd and ds had a sleepover at Grandma's last night, dh went to work, and here I am. You would think I'd be sleeping in, but instead my first thought was visiting the shack.

There is something about quiet, relaxing mornings like this. I'm not really sure what it is though... maybe it sets the tone for the whole day? I do know that it has been quite some time since I had a quiet morning at home. Dh & I were married for 6 years before starting a family, you would think I would have had enough quiet mornings at home to last a lifetime. However, that is not the case. I'm enjoying this.

Well, I think I am enjoying this. As a matter of fact, as I sit here thinking of what to type next, I'm beginning to think that I'm not enjoying this at all and that the whole "quiet morning silence" thing is overrated. Hearing the clock tick through the silence is not comforting to me right now. I know in my heart that the sound of my children talking, laughing and yelling is comforting to me. Hmmm....I think I'll give Mom a call to see when she'll be bringing them home.

Over the top

Sometimes I guess I don't realize how over the top or engrossed I am in this thing we call scrapbooking.Yesterday, I printed Jen Coen's spotlight challenge so that I could give it a try some time this week. It was sitting on my desk, when dd saw it. She was very interested in it and asked me why the boy in the picture was crying. I said, because his sand castle fell down. She wanted to know how I knew that. I told her because his mom said so. She then wanted to know who his mom was. So I said, a girl named Jen. To which she replied, "Jen Coen??" WOW!!! I was taken aback!!! I didn't know whether to laugh or not. How could she know this??? (well actually, I know how she knows this...both of my kids love looking at the rolodex cards!) But to think that she remembered and connected the name just completely amazed me!!! What have I done to my children??? I've gone over the top!!!