Uncertainty (reader warning: may be boring)

I have been going crazy lately. I've been hoping to get a job with the school district as a Teacher's Assistant. The last postings I applied for (on Friday) are opened until the close of business September 8th. Being that September 8th is a Friday, I won't hear anything until the following week! Meanwhile, I'm in a state of confusion and uncertainty and it's killing me.

So....I had a huge discussion last night with dh and my mom & sisters. My problem is that I can stay at the job where I'm currently working part-time, with more hours. The beauty of this is that it's a locally owned store, it's very personal, and I know that the owner, P, will do anything for me. If I stay there, I will have flexibilty to do things...like attend school parties and chaperone field trips....things that mean a lot to me. If I get a job with the school district, chances are there will be no flexibilty to do these things. I know that P will let me leave if one of the kids gets sick, or leave early for school half days. Of course, the drawback to staying at P's is that I won't have all the time off as a teacher's assistant would. He did tell me that he would be willing to give me the summer's off, so long as he has it covered, but there's no guarantee. And then there are all the breaks...Christmas, mid-winter, spring. Those would be a problem, although I know my mom could watch the kids if need be.

After the big discussion last night, I think we alll seem to be thinking that P's is the way to go. The flexibility is key especially right now while the kids are still so young. I keep telling myself I'd have to be a fool to leave a place where everyone is so good to me and that I can basically do what I want. Then there's the part of me that thinks I'd have to be a fool to stay in a retail job when I can get out and only work 180 days a year as a Teacher's Assistant. I'm going to talk with P tonight and see if he's willing to give me the hours I'm looking for. I'm just so afraid of making the wrong decision.